i don't know why i did THAT this morning. i was just being crazy. YOU ARE TOO.
hahahaha.
i just wana take a deep breath
1:15 PM
Monday, May 29, 2006
hello hello morning! i just finished bathing, de second time in de morning hahaha. i just ran 2.4 in sch!! and im so glad i did it under 14 mins, k im lousy but still. tsk. thanks t my hockey babes, i din give up! cos toy and i went for breakfast earlier in de morning, we ate bak chor mee somemore. DAMN FULL! and aft i ran, i rly rly felt like vomiting and my stomach hurts like mad. so im back here at home t get some pills and bathe.
i think i better rush back t sch. my hockey babes (kaifong, rae and toy) are waiting for me back in sch. tata!
i just wana take a deep breath
10:52 AM
this video brought back a lot of memories, BACK IN PRI SCH. haha, my class performed a dance t this song, and i rly enjoyed myself back then. i rly rly miss 6A1!! i miss holy! :((
and we used that a-niu's song, dui mian de nu hai kan guo lai for a boy-girl dance as well. dammit hilarious! and i rmbred i was de tallest among de A1 girls who danced. NOW? haha, one of de shortest. it's alright, it's perfectly alright t be short =D
there's trng tmr, and we're wearing shinguards now. oh crap, my shinguards STINK LIKE HELL. cos i kept them in de plastic bag since our last trng w de j2s? haha, that was LONG LONG ago.
i just wana take a deep breath
12:40 AM
Sunday, May 28, 2006
IM SICK AND TIRED OF LOSING STUFF. CAN MY STUFF JUST MAGICALLY POP OUT SOMEWHERE?? I HATE THIS.
i just wana take a deep breath
11:34 PM
Friday, May 26, 2006
[VERSE 1] For all the years that I've known you baby I can't figure out the reason why lately you've been acting so cold (didn't you say) If there's a problem we should work it out So why you giving me the cold shoulder now Like you don't even wanna talk to me girl (tell me) Ok I know I was late again I made you mad and then it's throwing the pan But why are you making this drag on so long (i wanna know) I'm sick and tired of this silly games (silly games) Don't figure that I'm the only one here to blame It's not me here who's been going round slamming doors That's when you turned and said to me I don't care babe who's right or wrong I just don't love you no more.
[CHORUS] Rain outside my window pouring down What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry Feeling like a fool cause I let you down Now it's, too late, to turn it around I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry I guess this time it really is goodbye You made it clear when you said I just don't love you no more
[VERSE 2] I know that I made a few mistakes But never thought that things would turn out this way Cause I'm missing something now that your gone (I see it all so clearly) Me at the door with you inner state (inner state) Giving my reasons but as you look away I can see a tear roll down your face That's when you turned and said to me I don't care babe who's right or wrong I just don't love you no more.
[CHORUS] Rain outside my window pouring down What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry Feeling like a fool cause I let you down Now it's, too late, to turn it around I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry I guess this time it really is goodbye You made it clear when you said I just don't love you no more
[BRIDGE] Don't say those words it's so hard They turn my whole world upside down Girl you caught me completely off guard On the night you said to me I just don't love you more.
[CHORUS 2X] Rain outside my window pouring down What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry Feeling like a fool cause I let you down Now it's, too late, to turn it around I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry I guess this time it really is goodbye You made it clear when you said I just don't love you no more
i just wana take a deep breath
1:08 PM
i did not go t sch tdy, and it wasn't planned!! just that i ate keropok last night, and now im having a rly bad sore throat. and tdy's de last day of sch mah, so MIGHT AS WELL don't go t sch. ahaha.
just as well, i can stay at home t catch up on my hw, that is if i hv de motivation t. (:
i just wana take a deep breath
11:50 AM
Thursday, May 25, 2006
went t de hockey finals yesterday! and vj won!! im happy for joleyn, cos she's so damn worried beforehand. hahaha. and de rj guys team won! they're rly damn gd. esp no 12!! he's damn cute and his ball skills are WHOA.
tdy had bio practical, but tdy's practical was v v interesting! it was t insert this plasmid into de bacteria cells so that they are able t glow. de plasmid contains some gene lah, damn cool. it's de same gene which enables fireflies t glow at night. hahah, but yanting and i messed up our whole setup. we weren't supposed t add de LB until we incubate de bacteria cells, but we added before that! and we were damn happy when ms leow said that our samples are gna be thrown away. de rest of de class were damn sad!! this is so ironic lah, ahaha.
i rly don't feel like gg t sch tmr. serious. we shall see.
i just wana take a deep breath
8:59 PM
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
i rly hate tuesday. im not having monday blues, cos im rly loving mondays now! cos i end at 1245, which is de earliest in de week. and tuesdays suck! cos i hv afternoon pe frm now on. i din go for last wk's afternoon pe cos i thought im STILL excused frm afternoon pe. but voila! ms tay said that i must go for afternoon pe! why can't she tell me earlier. now i hv t do 2 makeup pe. wth. this sucks.
tmr's hockey finals!! vj VS sa. it cld hv been AJ.
'sth fresh and lovely wants t enter your personal life, but first you nd t make room for it. sweep away some old patterns. get rid of any mental junk. it's time t dump de old. WELCOME DE NEW.'
i just wana take a deep breath
8:45 PM
Sunday, May 21, 2006
i have no courage at all. i do not even dare t do it. im just a weakling. im just too scared t face loneliness myself. im scared t be all alone.
nobody loves me everybody hates me im gna eat some worms
all those facade, are nth but passing scenes. what seems t be is not what it is now. im giving up. or am i?
i just wana take a deep breath
12:49 PM
tdy's sunday. hmmm, and tmr's week 10. v fast huh?
we had mass civics on fri, and that day's talk was about COURAGE. it rly struck me that im actually a not v courageous person. courage is not solely abt confidence. it's abt whether are you willing t take de first step onto de road less walked by ppl. aft that, toy and i stayed back in sch, cos we din wna go watch de bball finals and rush back for trng. we went t de reading room t study, and it was v v empty!! amanda joined us cos she didn't finish her newspaper commentary, haha. when there were only toy and me in de reading room, WE HAD SEX. hahaha, jk. we took some real stupid photos.
oh, this wasn't taken in de reading room. it was taken last sat during our last trng. this is our signature pose, ahaha! acting les, and it looks like!! toy seems t be enjoying herself.
taken when de both of us are lying down on de table.i was too shy, awww.
i like this pic!! we look so spastic.
toy's raping me!! k, this is soooo lame.
yest, went t town t do pw. yeah, then went t walk abt town. it's been a real long time since i've stepped into town. haha, im like a mountain tortoise. bleagh. andrea wanted t watch de child, but it wasn't out yet, so they said go watch de voice. haha, no thanks. but i cldn't make it as well. at night finally got t watch da vinci code!! DAMN INTERESTING. watched it w jiemei, and i know that he confirm will hv a lot of qns t ask de.
im having a crave for bk's mushroom swiss!! mmmms. but anyways im gg t eat w my sis! :DD
i just wana take a deep breath
11:08 AM
Thursday, May 18, 2006
ilovelovelove this song. it brings back lots of memories. when i was a part A. part A. de start of my ncc journey. UNFORGETTABLE.
i just wana take a deep breath
11:37 PM
everyone is so damn sick. almost half of my class is sick. like HUH. urgh. my throat hurts like hell and it's so dammit dry.
YESTERDAY WAS DAMN EXCITING. went down t tp stadium t support de vballers for de finals. and ajcwon!! first place!! this is so damn cool. everyone was screaming their hearts and lungs out for de vball guys team. woohoo. de fight btwn aj and tj was sooooo intense. i was so scared when aj was behind tj. de vballers were rly damn cool! haha, just hope that there'll be a holiday for de whole sch cos de vball won de first place. tmr's bball's finals, then if THEY WIN, double holidays!!
im so lagging behind my hw. and im desperately trying t finish that huge pile over there. and im beginning t enjoy doing hw (why am i not fooled by myself). jiayou jiayou jiayou!
sa won rj, and vj won nj. vj's win was expected i guess, but sa's win?? haha, it came as a surprise t me. but too bad rj. guess de loss served as a wakeup call t them not t be too smug. means, sa and vj will be in de finals. COOL. joleyn that girl is so scared, just cos sa won rj. but vj's v v strong too! so dear joleyn if you ever see this entry, must hv confidence in yourself k? shall see you at delta nxt wed!! =DD
i just wana take a deep breath
11:04 PM
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
im feeling v v terrible right now! im having a sore throat yet agn. and im scared a fever will follow. that's what always happen, as concluded by xuefen and me. MAN, i still hv pe tmr, 5 items somemore. what crap. urgh. aj pe teachers are so dammit strict w de napfa. your chin die die must go over de bar, before they count as one. back in cedar, i rmbr like anyhow do also can do a lot. and i wna go support de vball match tmr!! so exciting, agnst tj. and it's za's bday!! what an exciting day tmr is. :DD
urgent and impt. v v impt. urgent. not urgent and not impt.
i just wana take a deep breath
8:00 PM
Monday, May 15, 2006
tdy's been a weird but GREAT day.
we had our v last match of de season this morning. agnst cj. we just had t win this match. charles said that he cldn't lose t cj's coach. know what he said t cj abt aj? "DON'T MAKE A BAD TEAM LOOK GOOD." now he shld go eat his own words man. what a bastard. toy's mum bought de whole team a cup of milo and sausage mcmuffin each!! she's so darn nice. haha, charles had been 'pestering' toy for parents' support grp, since that day when toy's father bought us all packet drinks aft one particular trng.
had our v 1st formal trng w de j1s. i went t de trng with mixed feelings. i know that i must be able t bond well w de new j1s, but on de other hand, i don't wna trn w them cos de feeling is TOTALLY different frm trng w de j2s. there's just sth missing. JUST THAT STH. i know i shldn't compare them w de j2s, but i just can't help it. ya know, just that part of me rly want t trn w de j2s instead. it was so fun trng w them! argh, they are just a bunch of real nice and funny ppl t hang out with. i rly hope that aj hockey girls 05-06 will stay united tgthr as a team, even though we won't be playing hockey as a REAl team anymore. i think we will. ((((:
wish #7: t be able t open up and talk t de new j1s, instead of grumbling how it wld hv been if we were trng w de j2s.
i just wana take a deep breath
10:08 PM
Sunday, May 14, 2006
i hate friendster. i can't seem to post pics forever. WTH.
wish #3: t have lots and lots of money so that i'll be able t buy a lot of snacks. wish #4: t still hv de passion for ncc. yes, this is so v impt. wish #5: t know that someone (maybe A LOT of someones) out there cares a lot for me! wish #6: T UPLOAD PICS ONTO FRIENDSTER. DAMMIT.
i just wana take a deep breath
8:49 PM
i rly had a lot of fun for de past 3 days, i din even complete any of my hw! this is so annoying. i planned out a timetable for myself t follow, but wahahaha. i suck.
went t do pw at oldham hall. de hostel is dammit nice lah. i rly like it there. de only thing i don't like is that de way de students collect food is so ncc. must take plate then de aunties and uncles pile de food for you. yah, it's de only convenient way, but somehow i just don't like it that way. grrrs. aft that went t meet fiona, nicholas, zul, fahmi and thinesh for dinner. thinesh's treat! :))
on sat had our v v last trng w de seniors! so sad right. de new j1 guys just had t come t delta and trn w us!! damn irritating. i thought they were trng in sch. eeyer. aft that we all went out t marina sq. ate pizza hut, and we went t play pool. i won rae!! hahaha, but she's v v pro despite she just learnt how t pool. kf and i went arnd ms t shop like nobody's business! as in, we walkwalkwalk. she bought this EXPENSIVE pouch frm projectshop and it's so not worth it. it's nice no doubt, but not worth it. hahaha. i finally bought my shorts frm zara!! happy happy.
and tdy. tata, i slpt like nobody's business. stupid lah. i was thinking of RESTING a while, but it ended up into a v v long rest.
tmr's our last match. last match for aj. we must win!! cos we shldn't lose, by right. crossing my fingers!!
i just wana take a deep breath
6:52 PM
Friday, May 12, 2006
it's hard for aj hockey t get into de semis now. we lost THAT crucial match agnst nj. it was no doubt frustrating and v v disappointing, but i rly think that de team rocks. cos of de j2s. i wld nvr hv enjoyed myself so much and hv so much passion for hockey if not for de girls. they rly made every trng worthwhile! it's just that we don't hv de lucky star shining on us. just our luck. like all those hell-of-a-time trngs, they were terrible yet we all pulled through tgthr as a team. although we didn't get into de semis, just as well. we hv each other, and that is what matter. ((((:
I LOVELOVELOVE AJ HOCKEY GIRLS.
im scared. im scared that i can't bond w de new j1s. like you know, i have depression. i can rly don't talk if i don't feel like it. and i'll rly blank out at times. ppl will find me weird. ah crap. i just hope that we'll hv de same fighting spirit as de j2s. get into de semis and not disappoint de j2s!!
tmr's de last trng w de j2s. gna rly treasure tmr's trng. aft which we're gg out!! so fun lah. either pool or bowling, both of which i haven't play for ages man.
de defeat yesterday made me think back of those ncc times. i dono why also. think back of de 4 yrs i went through as a cadet + a CSM. it wasn't easy at all. when i was a cadet, how i looked up t my seniors and all. how i wish i cld be like them one fine day. how i wish im able t command everyone. yes, i've achieved that. but de time as a CSM is definitely v short. it's like WHOOSH, and now im an EX-CSM. sad sad sad. and i realised sth. it's rly v tough being de 2nd fiddle. ie de ASM. it's like you might as well aim for de top most position right? yet you're like de 2nd best. it can be qt frustrating at times. i'll nvr know de feeling, and im scared. i can finally understand how maziah felt in de past.
TO MAZIAH: if you're reading this, i wld rly wana thank you for being my ASM. i wldn't hv done my part as a CSM w/o you. you're like my rly capable assistant. like you know, im a scatterbrain and im not as calm and composed like you. im like so lousy when compared t you! you're so so so organised and such. you were always beside me, to accompany me through all those tough times. always w me t 'argue' w de teacher officers. and my temper is bad. i shoot my mouth at times, which you don't. im so lucky i hv you as my ASM, and thank god we worked well tgthr. otherwise i wldn't be able t answer t de ex-specs and all. IF we rly got de best girls' this yr, it's all rly cos of you maziah. you rock CEDAR NCC so much, and you're de best ASM i've ever seen. :DD ncc has been a part of my life for 4 yrs. it rly rocked my life. although i had a lot of ups and downs during this 4 yrs, im not regretting it. im missing all de times when my pltnmates and i had t stand so straight and smart in pltn form, when we all had t cheer so loudly that de whole sch must echo, when de whole pltn had t hold it in pumping position when we did sth wrong, when we did our C&C tgthr, when we learn all those drills, when we came tgthr and got promoted as specs. although de pltn was rly splitted when we took over, im still v happy that all of us rly commit ourselves t trn de cadets t de best of our abilities. but im rly sad that our pltn is not bonded at all, and there's still some rivalry among us. :( i didn't do my job as a CSM well. i failed terribly. i wasn't at all a gd example t de cadets. i regretted not performing my job well. CRAPSHIT.
this is a super emotional entry. i'll nvr delete this away.
i just wana take a deep breath
11:13 PM
Monday, May 08, 2006
are you rly gone? i doubt so. you'll always be here. for me? NAHHH. i just want your presence felt.
WISH #1: to stop being so forgetful and keep losing things. i'll lose myself sooner or later. WISH #2: to win IJ 12-0 for tmr's match!
that's all for now. i will come up w more wishes, cos i know i hv A LOT. i know im greedy, but pls make my wishes come true.
i just wana take a deep breath
9:45 PM
Sunday, May 07, 2006
i rly despise myself.
my cousin came ovr t my hse, and he was using de notebook. then he saw my pi draft (dammit). he had a lot of things t say abt my pi! that idiot. he wrote this EDITED version of my pi. and his eng is damn pro lah. i still rmbr he got c5 for his o levels, BUT got A for gp. isn't he great? i beat him in psle and o lvls. and my auntie said i must beat him in a lvls. but tell me how t? how t get 7 As?? he's like de 2nd top scorer of nyjc PLEASE FOR GOD'S SAKE.
i just wana take a deep breath
12:34 AM
Saturday, May 06, 2006
the cost of manufacturing one crumpler bag is $8.50. de cost of one crumpler bag is $100 over. get de equation?
tdy's trng was crazy. aft pitch frm 4 to 6, we had physical. at de track near de pitch at ccab. man, de track brings back horrible memories man. i alrdy hv this fear for it, stupid me. by de time physical ended, all of us were super super shagged. when i walked de overhead bridge, my legs were damn wobbly! crap, i think im like lousy in my physical fitness. how am i gna get 12 mins for my 2.4? impossible pingsiew, impossible.
my stomach is making funny noises. argh. pls don't let me hv a stomach upset.
tdy's polling day! damn interesting lah. i bet pm lee hsien loong's heart is gna fall out any moment. this GE is v v v competitive, and it's like de v 1st time im so concerned abt de elections. wahahaha. my hse void deck was used as a polling stn. then when i was gg for trng, i wanted t take a pic of de stn using my hp. haha, k im so dumb. i can't even see a single thing for goodness sake. but i can't possibly go INSIDE de stn and take right. but it's so cool lah. k, im talking nonsense.
i nd t get my commentaries done! urghh. this is so torturous. i nd 10 by nxt wed, and im only done w 3.
i just wana take a deep breath
10:15 PM
Friday, May 05, 2006
MONDAY kai, toy and i went out t study!! and it was not so successful, hahaha. what do you expect right. we were like gossipping, and did a 22-sided love triangle! it was so fun lah.
TUESDAY i finally went dwn t watch de guy's final match!! cos de previous matches, i wasn't free i guess. i ponned pw and maths, and de teachers are like my pd tutor and her buddy?? i was so scared they'll like find out. i mean like duh, they will. but miraculously, they din even ask abt my absence!! damn heng lah. de guys lost!! which is like qt sad, cos this means that they won't be able to make it into de semis. guess it's like THE END.
WEDNESDAY match agnst mi! this was one real exciting one. i cld almost feel my heart missing a beat qt a few times, when mi was so close t scoring. but eventually we drew w mi, 0-0! woohoo, like rj and nj drew w mi o-o as well. this shows that DE SCORELINE DOESN'T REFLECT ANYTHING. aft that kai, toy, rae and i went t study! can you believe it, we're becoming muggers. but it was cos we have phy (although i dont hv) and econs tests. and this time, it was qt productive! i feel so proud. :DD
THURSDAY kai din come t sch tdy! aww, act i don't miss her at all hahahaha. but anyways our study date was cancelled, cos everyone was so tired, we just had t go home and rest.
TDY de chem cls test was crap, de econs test was shit. basically that's it. had trng, was qt fun. esp de last part. toy told me beforehand that she was gna pur water on huifen, so she's gna run away oand wait for rae and i at de foyer. then she poured and she ran away w/o her shoebag! being de nice person i've always been, i took for her. then i suggested t huifen that we shld put de hockey balls in toy's shoebag! huifen took revenge and PLACED ALL OF DE BALLS INSIDE TOY'S SHOEBAG. she damn power lah. and when i gave toy her shoebag, she knew there was sth inside. i told her and she refused t take it! it was dammit heavy lah. imagine 17 hockey balls inside a shoebag. but in de end, de 3 of us shared de load! hockey girls are just so nice. ((((: